7 Non-Negotiable Traits for Finding the Right Man...

So many times I’ve had people say to me that I’m too picky when it comes to the guys I date.  In my younger days, I’ll admit I was a little too wrapped up in physical appearances.  Over the course of my twenties, I learned that appearances can be very deceiving.  Sometimes those guys that you wouldn’t spare a second glance are actually the really good ones, and those really nice looking ones that get your attention are sometimes just plain ole jerks!
After talking to a group of my girls, we’ve compiled a list of qualities we think are non-negotiables when it comes to dating.

1. He has to be a CHRISTIAN.  Like a true, blue, in love with God, Christian.  I don’t mean one of those guys that claims to be a Christian, but yet you can’t find any evidence of Christ in his life at all.  A man should be on fire for God because one day he is going to be the spiritual leader of his family.

2.  Your dream guy should treat you with RESPECT.  One of my girls said it best…Look at how he treats his mother.  That’s a strong indication of how he’ll treat you.  He should respect everything about you including your choices.  Don’t ever settle…EVER!

3. He must be HONEST.  Lies are poisonous and they destroy everything in their path.  You need a man who will tell you the truth, even when it hurts.

4. He needs to LOVE you for who you are and not who he wants you to be.  If he tries to change things about you, then you’re better off without him.  Sweetheart, you need to love yourself completely before you can let a man love you, and if you do, then he can’t change you.

5. He needs to be FINANCIALLY stable and CAREER focused.  Now, financially stable does not mean he’s rich…it means that he knows how to manage his money and makes smart choices with money.  One of my girls was married to a guy who never consulted her on big purchases and it caused a TON of problems in their marriage.  Make sure he knows what he wants in life…he needs to have a JOB!!!!  If he won’t work now, he sure won’t work after you’ve married him.

6. He can’t be JEALOUS and/or POSSESSIVE.  Jealousy and possessiveness are signs of a weak person.  If he’s truly focused on God, then these will be two emotions he won’t have.  Please, sweet girl, avoid men who show jealousy and possessiveness…these are two major red flags of someone who will abuse you (mentally, verbally, and physically)!

7.  He needs to know how to have FUN and LAUGH!   I come from a family where laughter takes up much of our time together.  I want someone who will laugh with me, and at me (because let’s face it, I’m a klutz).  He needs to be able to find ways to have fun that don’t involve alcohol.  Please stay away from the guy that drinks all the time…if he spends most of his time with the bottle, then he’ll value that more than anything else, including you.  Find a guy that likes to go to amusement parks, the bowling alley, the movie theater, a road trip, or anything else that tickles your fancy (PS–Him playing video games ALL DAY does not equate fun, unless you’re playing with him!).  Fun and laughter will help keep the spark in your romance.
Check out this blog for some really awesome fun date ideas:  The Life of Faith: 25 Fun Date Night Ideas
So, my dear friend, please take these suggestions to heart when considering a guy.  And, remember…never, ever settle!